Political Correctness and Social Messages

I’ve been thinking recently about the words gay and fag. I seem to be rapidly changing my opinions on their usage. Before, I probably would have told you that they’re just used as slang now, and it’s not offensive or bothersome or worrisome. However, I really don’t think that’s the case most of the time.

Now, to be fair, I am not always the most politically correct person. Sometimes I’ll say racist/sexist/offensive things when I’m joking around with my friends. But they are always just that: jokes. I am not racist, sexist or prejudiced. If I say something prejudiced, it is never in a serious context. And I make it known that I’m joking. Sometimes I also stereotype. But once again, that is jokingly.

What I don’t do is let discrimination seep into my everyday language. When people say something is gay, they aren’t joking around. They’re making a serious statement about something they don’t like, and using the word gay to describe it¹. The same goes for faggot and fag. You aren’t making a joke; you’re using fag(got) as a general, catchall insult.

Of course most people aren’t calling me a fag. But they’re using my sexual orientation as a way to describe anything they think is stupid or annoying. Which is, I think, even worse than just flat-out offensive hate speech. When people see a person condemning homosexuals and telling them that “God hates fags,” they’ll usually just shake their heads and continue on their way. Unless they’re absolutely crazy, then they’ll believe it. But generally, most people frown upon hate speech and don’t want to associate with it.

When people use gay and fag in a slang way, though, they’re not using it in any connection to sexual orientation. It seems harmless, because it’s not directly attacking homosexuals. But it is still damaging. Not only is it offensive to the LGBTQ community, it also makes associating anything negative with homosexuality a normal thing. If you mean stupid, say stupid.

Some people say that word change and evolve and that’s what’s happening with gay. Except that’s a bunch of bullshit. Sure, words change. But gay still means homosexual. Choosing to use gay in a negative way only creates a connection between something bad and the word gay. And when that connection is made, especially among kids, it’s dangerous.

In this time period, homosexuals face a lot of discrimination. I cannot get married most places. I cannot openly enlist in the military. I can be denied a job because of my sexuality. I can be denied adoption of a child. I cannot donate blood if I’ve had sex. I can be killed, just for being gay. With all of this, do we really need subtle discrimination in our everyday speech? And, really, when gay and fag are the catchall terms for anything disliked, is it such a surprise that I don’t have equal rights?

ETA: Yesterday, after the hockey game (go Flyers!) my friend was talking trash on the Penguins briefly and felt it appropriate to refer to them as “Crotchby and the Faguins.” And I was like HAHA HILARIOUS, very sarcastically. And he was all “I’m not being offensive, I’m just making fun of the Penguins. I’m not saying anything bad about gay people. I’m bi, so it’s okay.” Ugh. Just thought I’d share a recent run-in with the topic.

¹And, no, you can’t just say “no offense” to me and everything is fine. You have no idea how many people say gay and fag and follow with “no offense.” It is still offensive! If you have to say no offense, that means it IS OFFENSIVE.
P.S. I really like what Ellen has to say on the matter.

Just a little update

On how life is progressing for Josh. (I don’t generally like when titles lead into the first sentence of blogs/article/etc., so I don’t know why I did that. Probably because WordPress already saved the title and I do not feel like changing it. I AM LAZY.)

Anyway, you guys are super interested in my life. Do not deny it. And any of you that have read my ridiculous, yet awesome, about page know that I want to devote my life to helping people. Well, that’s only sort of true anymore. Before I was interested in psychology and stuff. Now I am more interested in being famous or something like that. I want to be in the TV/film business. I am not entirely sure what I’ll be doing yet, but hopefully it will be awesome.

I’ll most likely be transferring into the broadcasting program at university, so that will set me up to work on a lot of aspects in TV and some film. But I think I’d like most to be in front of the camera. Maybe this is just my optimistic, big-dreaming, young heart speaking, but I want to be a “star,” if you will. Maybe a broadcast journalist, an actor, a comedian, I dunno. I’ve been thinking about doing standup comedy one day. I have no experience, but I could work on it part-time and maybe I could be super awesome at it. Or, I could go to college and become an awesome broadcast journalist, and beat up Glenn Beck with my words. OR, maybe I’ll just become a famous actor and that would be so awesome and I would love it so much.

I have decided, though, that I am very interested in TV/film and I want to be part of it. Hopefully the famous part. So root for me!

P.S. If that does not work out, I will be owning a coffee shop with Clem in Toronto/Gayburg.

Pros and Cons of Driving

After driving many miles recently (150+) I have thought about how much of a love-hate relationship I have with driving. And I decided to go over the pros and cons, in a nice, orderly list. Maybe I can scare some of you into never driving!

Pros

• You are in control of your transportation. You get to decide when you come and go and how long it takes.
• It is pretty much your only mode of transportation when you live in a rural area, like I do.
• You get to jam out and do American Idol in your car when you’re alone.

So, yeah, those are the pros. They are very big pros! But that’s about it. Now the cons!

Cons

• Gas is expensive.
• Car insurance is expensive.
• There are a lot of laws that you can break. So, lots of chances for tickets, which means more money.
• That whole global warming thing. Glenn Beck tells me it’s not real, though, so I guess it’s not big deal.
• Driving is scary. You are in a heavy object, traveling at high speeds. If that wasn’t enough, there’s other drivers, animals, pedestrians, inanimate objects, unexpected events, your car might explode, etc.
• If there is a problem with your car, it is expensive to fix (usually).
• If you are like me, you run the risk of hitting an old lady on a bicycle.
• Other drivers are assholes – at least in New Jersey. Everything you might have ever heard about New Jersey drivers ever is all true.

Yes. Driving is scary and dangerous and expensive. But pretty much a necessity if you don’t live in a more metropolitan area. And I’m not exaggerating; the nearest bus stop to my house is more than 5 miles away.

So have fun driving everybody!

I have a secret

Okay, I am going to let you all in on a little secret that I’ve kept close to my heart for a long time. BUT I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE. The truth must come out!

I…am gay. Oh. Wait. That’s not what I wanted to say. It’s not a secret, either, if you read my last entry.

What I really wanted to say is that I am secretly a slob. I am gross. But you couldn’t tell by looking at me. I manage to appear groomed and clean and awesome. I am not THAT gross, though. I do bathe and stuff.

I just don’t bathe every day, unless I get really gross and sweaty. Usually every other day, unless I am not at home, then like every three days…But come on guys that is not so bad! Right? …Right? Right.

I mean, I straighten my hair, so it would be ill-advised to straighten it every single day. And day 2 is generally when my hair is PERFECT. Sill straight, but with a little bit of natural oils, so that it’s a little more messy/softened.

I also don’t wash my clothes that often. Like my button-up shirts get washed, uh…almost never. Unless I spill something on them or get them gross and sweaty. And I have probably worn the same, unwashed pair of jeans for like…the past few weeks. They are my favorite okay! They are nice and broken in from not being washed in a while. Once again, I only wash jeans when they get dirty. I think not washing jeans is pretty common, though. They feel so tight and weird when they are washed.

I do generally wash my t-shirts and stuff after wearing them. I have plenty. But sometimes I feel like wearing a specific t-shirt and I dig it out of my hamper, and it’s all wrinkly and I still put it on. I still put it on, you guys.

Not too uncommon for me to wear the same socks and underwear for a couple days, too. That part is probably bad. But I am just so lazy. D: I cannot be bothered. Yes, I am very gross.

So yeah, that is that. I am secretly gross and a slob. Now you know. I hope this does not change the great friendship between us.

How I Was Outed By A Purse

Funny story¹. Yesterday I went to a funeral and an after-funeral lunch (not the funny part). The seating at the lunch was kind of tight, so I ended up sitting with some of my cousins, who I hadn’t seen in years. A couple of them I had never seen. They were all around 13/14/15, so of course I blended right in.

Well, I was pretty quiet for a while, because I was tired and starving and about to pass out. But I participated in the conversation and such, and tried to be friendly. They were all nice kids, but a couple were maybe a little too Catholic. Yes, too Catholic. Brainwashed by the dogma.

Anyhoo, the one girl was really friendly and talkative, and apparently we had met before when we were really little. At one point she turned to me and started talking about her friend’s purse. I think she was saying something about how it’s heavy, but small. And I said, “What, it’s a clutch.” You know, a clutch, those smaller purses/handbags that are usually carried by hand.

Well, apparently I could only know what a clutch was if I was gay. So my cousin promptly looked back at the other two girls, then back at me and asked if I was gay. And in my head, I was cursing, because before I said it’s a clutch, I thought to myself, “There’s no way you can insinuate I’m gay by the fact that I know what a clutch is.” But I guess you can. And she did.

Short digression: I’m not one to hide my sexuality, unless it would be safer to do so. But the thing is, I don’t really publicize it either. It’s a part of who I am, but it’s not all of who I am. If people ask, I’ll tell them. (Unless they want to kill me. Then I will lie.)

So I said yes to my cousin. And she proceeded to spend the next five minutes asking me if I was really gay or if I was kidding. And THEN my mom told her that yes, I like men. And I’m pretty sure the two male cousins got a bit uncomfortable. But to the female cousins, I was apparently a lot more awesome all of a sudden.

And that is how I was outed to five of my cousins by a purse. I’m the first gay person in our family, as far as they can remember. As far as I can remember, too. Or, ya know, at least the first openly gay person.

Oh, I’m also Justin Bieber according to my cousins. As always.

¹ Well, I thought it was funny anyway.